ALBUM OF THE MONTH for December: Uncle Chester's Pants
"Thank yeh!" This is the one anyone who knows me has been waiting for, that proverbial other side of the coin. I've released an album a month in 2016, and here is December's good cheer filled side dish, Uncle Chester's Pants. Listen to the introduction first, Weldon Littlemouth tells you everything you'll need to know; nothing mean or vulgar in here, just a little bit of sophomoric juvenility raised to high art with some cornbread on the side. Life is a balance and it's not all serious and if you can't laugh you're done. I don't think you're all that done yet and I hope this makes you laugh until you blow cheesecake out your nose.
A few of these can also be found as breathers in a more serious song collection, Finlay’s Ripples, but most have never been released... only performed unexpectedly at small gatherings and muttered about afterwards for years.
This special collection you and your family will cherish for literally minutes to come is dedicated to John “Uncle Johnny” Kirtland; friend, mentor, instigator. We drank for free and kept ‘em laughing. And if they didn’t think it was funny, it made it even funnier to us.
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1. Introduction by Weldon Littlemouth
Live from Karla’s Kuntry Kitchen over in Meander where he eats narrow food and talk tall tales. He’s got a little mouth, but it’s a coincidence.
2. Uncle Chester’s Pants
Kent Finlay, my songwriting mentor, laughed so hard at this I think I took that last year of his life. But now that I think of it, maybe I added it on. Thanks, Kent.
3. Ippa Dippa Dee
Wrote this one on the front porch of my friend Steve “Cap’n Camshaft” waiting for him to get home from church. I know you think I’m making this shit up.
4. Pants Up High
You do wonder if some folks have mirrors; and that’s coming from a guy who half the time looks like a Keebler elf that just hopped off a freight train.
5. 200 lbs.
An old classic dating back decades and one I’ve used to introduce myself into new circles. It usually goes over like a really impressive fart – nobody wants to laugh but you just can’t help it. By the last chorus they’re all singing along.
6. Lipton’s Cup of Uncle John
The single greatest tribute song I could have possibly written my friend into. This is just wrong, so wrong. He’d have loved it.
7. The Mornin’ After Corn Chomper’s Blues
Short little bluegrass number by the Scrote Mountain Boys about one of the mysteries of life. Sure, ponder the pyramids. But why does that corn keep showing up?
8. He Don’t Like Yuppies
One of Uncle Johnny’s favorite songs I wrote. We did some gigs as “Cornpone” with stuff like this, usually wearing out our welcome and always cracking ourselves up.
9. The Tater Song
Well that improvised second verse is really something special. Not what you'd call a sure hit but hey, they say write about what you know, they say be honest, they say keep it simple. Awrighty then. Here's your song about potatoes.
A brief (very brief) thank you to each and every one of you that will listen to this album. It’s not exactly “Red Headed Stranger,” I know.
11. Second Hand Pulp
Uncle Johnny said this one was over the line, but he sang about seein’ the face of the Virgin Mary in a fast food taco and eating it anyway because he had the munchies from being stoned; I think it’s the best thing I ever wrote and as far as being a little offensive, this ain't shit compared to that fuckin' song.
Written, performed & produced by Scott Beckwith. All songs by S. Beckwith / Parking Lot Music, BMI. Copyright 2016.